Inside Outside

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7)

I have been really silent about my weight loss. Because at first I thought it was going to be another failure. I have never been a slim girl. I was just blessed with a small waist and small chest which helped me not look as large. That all was wonderful in my younger years but as everyone knows as we age we tend to put on weight. The first time I put on weight was in 2005. I was tired of carrying the weight around so in February of 2008 I started working out about 4 hours a day 6 days a week. I ate whatever I wanted but managed to go from about a size 16 to a size 4 and from 200lbs to 145lbs in about 6 months. But working out had pretty much become my idol and I planned my days around my workout schedule. So I really didn't have much of a life. I also had plenty of time to follow this difficult regimen because at the time I was unemployed. Well August of 2008 I started a job and had a hard time keeping up with my strenuous workout schedule and by the middle of 2009 all my weight had came back plus more. And by 2011 I was weighing in at 216lbs and I was wearing sizes 18 and 20. My blood pressure was sky high, my childhood asthma was back, I was very depressed, my anxiety was out of control, I hated looking in the mirror, and food had become an idol in my life. Where in the past I use to plan my life around working out I would now plan my life around my next meal. I was very depressed and felt a void in my life. So this past Christmas 2011 I happened across the YouVersion App on my iPhone. I would read and listen to the Word of God on a daily and I begin to feel that void start to fade away. I started hungering for more so I started back attending church, listening to only gospel and praise & worship music, listening to Christian pastors, reading Christian books, and having regular daily email chats with other brothers and sisters in Christ. This all led to me recommitting my life to Christ. I begin to reevaluate unhealthy relationships and letting go of many habitual sins and strongholds in my life. I temporarily deactivated my Face Book page and I really took some time to fall in love with Jesus. When Christmas came around I ordered myself a Christian book called Thin Within: A Grace-Oriented Approach to Lasting Weight Loss. I had this book years ago but never made it through the first week because it really gets to the root of things and at that point in my life I was weak in my faith and I wasn't emotionally or spiritually ready to deal with those issues. But years later I was finally at the point where I was ready to deal with my junk and baggage. Around the same time my Mama was trying to find a way that she could lose weight and happened across this free online program called Lord's Table which is very similar to Thin Within but more in depth and it last longer. I loved them both so I decided to do both programs since they were so similar. And believe it or not I begin to drop weight not from dieting or tons of exercising. Just by building a healthy relationship with the Lord and eating only when hungry and pushing away from the table when my stomach was comfortably full. I still have my days when I relapse and eat past my comfort level but that's the good thing about God's Grace he forgives me when I stumble. I also have a wonderful Lord's Table mentor who is with me every step up the way and prays for me and my journey on a daily. My Mama and I are each other accountability partners and we are very tough on each other but we also build one another up when we mess up. When people mention my weight loss my response is always "God is allowing the changes He is making on the inside of me to show on the outside." I get many confused looks when I say this but I can't take credit for any of the weight loss all glory goes to God. ~Naturally Reecee